


You find me

by Criscpi



Category: WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Love at First Sight, M/M, Neighbors, No Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:35:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 7,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24541687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Criscpi/pseuds/Criscpi
Summary: Robbe is a normal guy with a normal life.But he can’t be completely sincere with his friends  or his mum about his real feelings.One day Sander come into his life and finally Robbe knows how to cope with everything
Relationships: Sander Driesen/Robbe IJzermans
Comments: 16
Kudos: 72





	1. New dawn, new neighbour

It’s dawn already. I really like wake up earlier in the morning and watching the sky painted in such different colours...   
I’m not a strong boy but when I open the window to start my ritual, I feel full of power and courage. Maybe someday I’ll find the strength and courage to tell everyone who I really am and what I really like. But that day has not yet come...  
Suddenly I close my eyes to feel the breeze and listen to the silence; when I open them I see in the window of the building in front of mine a guy who is staring at me. 

I look at him and the first thing that strikes me is a pair of green eyes  
They’re so big they look like two emeralds exploded in the morning light.  
The boy wave at me and I smile at him in return. 

Feeling intimidated I look at the clock and I realize I’m damn late  
“I have to go” I say trying to make the boy hear me  
I close the window not before smiling again at my new ethereal neighbour.

I run in the kitchen   
“Hi mum”  
“Hi Robbe sleep well?”  
“Like a baby. Do you know that we have new neighbours? I’ve just seen a boy at the window”  
“Yes, they moved last week I think, but I didn’t have the choice to meet them...anyway honey I have to go see you tonight?”  
“Of course mum but remember I have to finish an essay at school”  
“Ok bye son”  
“Bye mum later”   
Mum kiss me and close the door.   
I have ten minutes left before meeting my friend at school   
“Why I am always late???”

I really wanted to go back upstairs and keep looking at the boy at the window in front of mine, instead I take my backpack and start running.

When I finish my essay it’s already evening. An entire day at school is totally insane and I feel so tired. Thank god it’s Friday and now It’s time to come back home.  
I was going to wear my earphones and walk towards home. 

“Hey”   
I turned back. His green eyes are a few centimetres of my face.   
“Hey” immediately my brain stop working   
“I’m sorry I don’t want to bother you”   
“No problem Anyway... Hi, I’m Robbe”  
“Sander, nice to meet you”  
His hand is so big that mine disappears in his.  
Our hands seem to have found a safe harbor and I feel the fatigue that we both do to disconnect from that contact.  
I have to do something so I try to be as casual as possible   
“So new neighbour, how is your new apartment?”  
“It’s good thank you I have to finish fixing the last things”

“No one’s helping you? Do you need some help?”  
“Oh no thank you I’ll do it by myself”

“Wait... you live on your own?”   
I am a bit surprise... he seems so young   
And...o my god he is so beautiful...

What? I think he is beautiful? And what the hell my heart is doing? What’s wrong with me? we’ve known each other for less than an hour!

Sander start watching the ground his eyes become so tiny... and watery...   
“Long story, maybe another day...”  
I feel so sad for him  
“Sorry I didn’t want to be indelicate”  
“Hey, seriously no problem” he caresses my shoulder and immediately I stop breathing.  
We remain silent. A silence that surrounds us, that keeps us tied to each other. Is it possible to feel such a great connection between two strangers?  
Then he suddenly breaks the silence: “How about a race all the way home?”

I smile and nodding at him. I don’t know why but I feel the need to protect him, to protect us  
“3,2,1...go!”  
Sander is too fast but it doesn’t matter Because if I stay a few feet behind I can get drunk by the trail of his perfume.


	2. The courtyard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A meeting in a sleepless night. Sander and Robbe are going to become friends... or more than that?

“Sander.”  
My mind is full of his name and I try to erase it with everything I can find in my room: music, books, video games...  
Nothing, that boy has in a few seconds broken 17 years of armor (well built I must say) around my heart...

There are no other words: I desperately fell in love with my neighbor, a neighbor I know nothing about.

Tired of staying in bed without sleeping I decide to look for some clarity in my thoughts by opening the window: tonight the full moon completely illuminates the sky giving it wonderful shades of blue and moreover the silence of this moment is a perfect setting.

All of a sudden, as if he had felt my presence, the light of his window lights up There he is. His emeralds. His beautiful features  
Without thinking I take a piece of paper and I started to write, "I can’t sleep"   
He starts reading with some difficulty: the full moon wasn’t shine enough for this...then he disappears for a few seconds and writes in turn

“Neither do I."   
We smile for a few moments and I wish time would freeze forever this moment.

Then he takes another piece of paper and writes: "Would you like to meet me in the courtyard? Let’s talk a bit and wait for the sunrise together.”

Perhaps I am asleep and this is only the fruit of my sleep; in any case who am I to ruin it?

I nod, I take another piece of sheet and I prepare to go down

“Mom, I got up so early and I decided to stay for a while in the yard with Sander he is the new neighbor. Don’t worry I promise I’ll be back in time for our Saturday breakfast. I love you”

I go out and find Sander waiting for me sitting on a bench

“Sorry it took me a while but I preferred to leave a notice to my mother. she does not turn on the phone before having breakfast and if she doesn’t find me she could call the army.  
At least she knows where I am and with whom ...”

Sander smiles but I understand immediately that his Smile is hiding something

“Glad to be the person to change your habits...I’m sure that your mother will hate me"  
My mouth starts moving without first connecting it to my brain

“My mother will love you exactly like..." "Exactly like?"   
What was I gonna do? Ruin everything right away? I try to make up for it by pretending an apparent calm  
“Just like all mothers with children of the same age" 

A black cloud covers his face.

I still feel the need to protect him from the whole world   
“Robbe, not all mothers are like that"   
“I’m sorry... I didn’t want to hurt you... I just...”

Sander faces my gaze for the first time tonight. He seems determined.   
“Would you like to hear my story?"

My nerves are finally relaxing so I smile and I get closer to him:   
"Only if you trust me and you feel it"

He leans his hand on my knee and whispers to me.   
“I can’t explain why, but I’ve never felt as capable of being myself as I am with you."  
"24 hours intense true? Anyway it’s the same for me Sander. It’s like we’ve always known each other”. 

I place my hand on his shoulder and invite him to begin his story.


	3. The dawn rise without me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When sander start talking the whole world is turning in a new lovely way.

“I belong to a family that people would classify as normal.  
I was born 22 years ago, in a town not far from here, in a beautiful house with two young and loving parents... I’ve always been a lively kid, sometimes a little over the top, but nothing that’s alarmed my parents.  
When I was 10 years old my mother was pregnant again: a little girl invaded my days with joy and colors.

When Cloe my little sister was 5 years old and I was just a teenager, I started having trouble managing my emotions...  
I went from euphoria to depressive states in no time.  
The doctors thought it was a stage of adolescence..."

Sander doesn’t stop looking at the ground for a moment. When he finishes talking I understand that now would come the hardest part...

I squeeze his hand, "Sander, I... I haven’t lived your life but I know how hard it is to voice your fears and your feelings.  
Take your time. If it’s not today, it’s another day OK? I just wanted to tell you that I’m here and whatever story comes out of your mouth I’ll be here. I won’t move, because you are not alone, OK? You’re not alone anymore”

Sander looks at me, his dark circles are becoming darker and darker and silent tears are start crossing his face.  
He closes his eyes as if he need to visualize the rest of the story.

“One day my depressed state reached its peak. I stayed 10 days in bed. I didn’t even know if I was alive anymore. I realized it because Cloe came knocking at my door. I wanted to react so much for her but the dark forces inside me kept me away from it.”

Another pause. It was as if Sander was going through hell for the second time.

“They took me to a clinic and I finally found someone who understood what I was feeling and didn’t look at me like I was a monster...  
I am bipolar Robbe. I am so sorry. “

“What are you apologizing for? Is your name Sander? Are you my new neighbor? Are we becoming friends? That’s what matters to me”

At least I got a very weak smile out of him.

“From then on, countless attempts began to find out a cure: the meds worked for a while but then I fall back into the darkness. Or in the Euphoria.

My parents didn’t know it, but in my many sleepless nights I heard their speeches: I was becoming a burden, a bad example for Cloe. love was changed first into tiredness and then into fear. But Robbe, if you do not love by people who gave you life, who else will be able to do it?

Sander carries his hands in his hair; he seems ready to break into thousands fragments.

I caressed his back in silence: it was not the time to talk.

"At 19 I start studying and working: the treatments seem to work and I decide that it’s time to take over my life and try to be at least a little happy.  
Since then I work,study and live alone. My parents help me financially and I see them twice in a year. But I meet often and secretly with my little sister because she is the only bit of hope that keeps me from feeling completely useless. That’s it."

I embrace him. I embrace him with all the love I am capable of. I don’t speak at once, I just hold him.  
It’s only when he starts sobbing and clings to my shirt that I start whispering:

“Sander. You have nothing wrong ok? You deserve to be loved like everyone else.   
And if they can’t do it then I will. In any way I can. Throw it all out, I don’t move from here.”

This morning after years, the sun rose without me. Dawn would have understood. Sander now is my priority.

After crying for an indefinite time, he fell asleep.  
I keep stroking his hair because I don’t want him to think he is alone again.

The sun had risen without me, but in my arms I definitely have one of its ray.


	4. What about me, mom?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When they fall asleep Robbe’s mother help him to face the truth

I feel the familiar warmth of a hand on my shoulder.  
"Robbe, wake up, it’s too cold to sleep out here"  
I choke my eyes and look at my mother’s reassuring face. Then, like a sudden hurricane, I start crying.

“Mom, we are lucky me and you do you know it?" I look at her and then at the boy who sleeps exhausted on my legs.  
“Nobody deserves to feel alone. Sander told me his story.  
I don’t... Mom how many things he kept inside... how hard it was to face it all alone."

My mother looks at me with her softness eyes and says:  
“I don’t know honey, can you explain it to me?"  
My mother knows, how could she doesn’t?

“Mom, we need to talk"  
“Robbe, let’s go inside first..."  
"Sorry mom but no, if I don’t do it right now, I might not do it anymore. I... "  
I sighed. I thought it was much easier.

“I’m gay. I’ve known for a long time, but I never wanted to talk about it because it seemed like it was never the time and all the people around me didn’t seem ready, but the reality is that I wasn’t ready.  
I look at my friends so focused on girls and listen them talk about how to start a relationship with girls that I don’t know how to tell them.. I’m afraid of their reaction.  
Mom I don’t want to lose them...  
You know, I’ve always blamed Dad, his absence, not having a constant male presence but the real thing is that I don’t have to make excuses to love someone.

“And you’re in love?" She asks me.  
I Look at Sander again and I caress his head

“Maybe”  
“Maybe”

My mom smiles. When she smiles like that, it’s because she already has all the answers I have to find.  
She comes up to my face again to try to look me right in the eye.

“Robbe. My beautiful son. When you were born I immediately started to love you deeply. You could have been green, blue, multicolored, round, square...I knew I would love you because it was you.  
I love you because you’re my son, because you’re kind, poetic, because you’re always late, because you think first of others and then of yourself, because you’re so focused on making all of us happy to forget that you deserve this happiness, too.  
And I want you to be happy, I don’t care who you are happy with. That’s how it’s gonna be for your friends."

My mother caresses me with her eyes and then looks at Sander.  
“What do you say about the three of us entering the house?  
You can Go to rest in the heat and on something comfortable! Robbe?"  
“Tell me mom"  
“You have good taste"

“Shhhh... Mom! We’re friends, okay? Besides, I don’t know... who he likes"  
My mom turns around and walks to the door "I’ll wait inside, okay?"

We’re alone again. I’m gonna start calling Sander to wake him up. He squints his eyes and blinks them quickly for a few moments and then gives me a smile finally free of tension

“Listen we’re freezing here... Do you want to come inside with me? We’ll be warm and comfortable.. and then my mother is waiting for us. Do you want to upset her?" "Are you sure? I don’t want to bother you”  
I offer him my hand to help him get up  
"Let’s go...”


	5. Sleeping together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robbe and Sander in the same room...  
> Are they ready to talk about their feelings?

I wake up and I feel like I’ve been sleeping forever. I turn around towards my phone to check the time.   
Sander’s still sleeping next to me.

When we came inside my mother greeted us with our typical Saturday breakfast: cake, coffee, mini cakes and fruit...  
We ate and talked like this whole thing was completely normal.

After that I took Sander in my room:   
“How many books"   
“I really love reading"   
“You love reading and Look at the sky... such a romantic boy...”

“Sander I..."   
“Robbe... thank you for everything. Really. I haven’t felt that good in a long time. It’s a good feeling you know?"  
We looked at each other for a while as if silence could say what was set in our hearts.

“Are you tired?"   
I asked the owner of those magnetic eyes. "Yes, I’m already asleep but you can’t see it"

We lie down on my bed and let the silence of the early morning hours help us to get to sleep.

“Robbe, can I ask you a question?”  
“As many as you want till I’m awake“  
“You really don’t care that I’m bipolar?“  
“I care because knowing it will help me to help you, if you will of course, but to answer your real question: No, I don’t care and it won’t take me away from knowing and befriending my new neighbour.”

Sander caresses my face and for a moment I imagine my lips on his...   
then he closes his eyes, his hand remains on my face and I lull myself with the wonderful feeling of having him next to me.


	6. My best friend knows me mor than myself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth and Robbe’s best friend during a fortnite challenge

We spend the next two weeks talking to each other from the respective windows.

We both have exams and the days are full of studies school and tiredness br /> We exchanged phone numbers and as soon as we can we send a greeting or just say what we are doing at that moment.

Jens is my best friend since our knees were full of scratches and he already understand that something is changing in me.  
“Robbe all right?"  
"Yes, yes everything's fine"  
Jens never insists, he knows that when I'm ready, I'll look for him.  
This time it's so difficult. But I know he loves me and deserves the truth.  
A truth that I've kept from him for too long.

"Jens, what are you doing after school?"  
“No big deal, thought I'd go to the park."  
“Would you like to have coffee and fortnite challenge at my place?"  
"If you buy me a beer then I'll come."  
“Idiot" 

We get to my house and we throw our backpacks on the floor in front of the entrance.  
He sits on the couch and turns on the TV while I go get him this blessed beer.  
“So what's going on in that head of yours, boy?"

I have to concentrate and explain things well because I can’t lose him  
“It's complicated Jens. What if I risk losing you?"  
“Robbe, what are you saying? You know who you're looking at, don't you? Spit it out."  
“Okay, I'm... I'm not like you and the others. I don't like the things that you like... I don't... I don't like girls."

Jens remains silent. I'm about to go crazy.  
“Where's the console? I want to humiliate you today."

"Jens, I just told you..."  
“You just told me you're gay. Robbe, what do you think change for me? If you think I'm dumb enough to run away because you like guys then you don't know your best friend at all."  
“I'm sorry. I'm sorry."  
“Hey, it's okay... Robbe look at me. You're the one who has to accept it. I already accept you when we became friends. No matter what.”

Here's my best friend. I sigh and retrieve the console.  
“Get ready Jens, I'm going to make you cry."  
“You wish! Anyway, while we're playing, tell me who you're sending all those messages to, right?"

"Sure"

And the challenge at Fortnite begins.


	7. What if?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Robbe coming out he has to face another important moment... with Sander.

Holiday's finally starting.  
I'm exhausted but satisfied. 

Tonight I’ll celebrate with the crew the end of the school year: about twenty people drunk on joy and beer who dance with no sense of rhythm.  
Priceless.

When I get at the party, I start looking at my friends: we are all happy together for the holidays we so longed for, ready to enjoy each other's company...and for the first time the idea of talking to them about it don’t scare me anymore. Before the alcohol and the music will cloud our minds, I decide to jump in and tell it like it is.  
Worst case scenario, I'll drink and get so drunk I'll forget this night ever happened.  
The point is to find a way to tell everyone at once, so I raise my mug and shout:  
“I want to do a toast to the end of school, to my friends and to me, who's the only gay in this bunch of wretches!”

After a few seconds of silence all the mugs are facing the sky. 

It isn’t easy to manage the curiosity, the questions, the jokes... but it goes pretty well and the rest of the evening was kind of epic... 

Jens stays with me all the time, I think he's afraid someone's too indelicate with me.  
Noor comes to take him away for some intimacy, he pats me on the shoulder and says, "I'm proud of you."

"So do I of you and now go that your evening has yet to begin"  
“What’s your plan for the rest of the night?"  
“I'm going to stay a while longer and enjoy with the others and then go home."  
“And...Sander?"

It still feels a little weird talking about him...

"I'll see him tomorrow."  
“Keep me posted ok?."  
“I will"

On my way home I decided to  
Send him a message 

"Sander, are you awake?"  
“Yes"  
“Are you all right?"  
“...”

Evidently something wasn't going well. I become lucid immediately and immediately think of a possible depressive episode.  
“Would you like me to come over?"  
“Please do it."

I'm calling my mom. I didn't have time to apologize for the hour. I tell her  
I was going to pick up a couple of things at home and go to Sander's.

"Honey, can't you go tomorrow?"  
“Mom, he needs me right now."

My mother understands from the tone that this is something serious: she stops asking questions and when ai came into the house I found everything ready.

"Mom, you're an angel," and I run away.

I take the stairs to her apartment at the speed of light.  
I open the door and find him wrapped in a blanket on the couch.

“Robbe, i’m sorry, I'm so tired, but I haven't been able to sleep for days. I'm afraid of a new crisis, I'm afraid to start again the agony of finding the right cure...I’m sorry”  
“Hey, it's okay, I'm here. What do you want me to do for you?"

He looks at me with the lost eyes of someone who doesn't know what to do. 

"Shall we lie on my bed as we did by you?"

I'll take him by the hand and walk him to his room. I feel so sad to think of him here all alone facing life.  
But now we're together and everything will be better.  
We'll get ready and lie down 

"Robbe, I know it sounds weird... definitely weird... but can you give me a hug?"

I start giggling: 

"Sander, I just told my friends that I'm gay. I thought it was the  
The hardest thing in the world, however, in a few minutes I took courage and finally spilled my guts. So it doesn't sound weird to me... It's up to you, if you don't feel disgust..."

"Hug me silly beautiful soul"

Sander holds me tight 

"I'd stay like this forever"

"Me too."

We don't say anything to each other anymore and fall asleep as we should have.


	8. Do I deserve happiness?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sander wakes up realising is not alone (anymore?)
> 
> Sander POV

The first thing I think about when I open my eyes is that I finally slept... a dreamless sleep without thoughts... then finally everything is reactivated, even my memories.  
Memories of an intense night, spent with a person with a kind soul, who never looked at me with curiosity, or with disgust.  
He run to me after a very important night for him.  
He is taking care of me instead elaborate what did he do last night.

With Robbe I immediately risked everything: I threw on the table all the worst that my story could contain and he embraced me in response. I was no longer used to the intense heat of a person.

I turn around and find him here; that loving soul encased in a beautiful body.  
If only I could, I'd fill it with kisses.  
But I can't.  
I'd ruin everything. I know he told he is gay but that doesn’t mean anything for now. Step by step is my life mantra  
His presence is so precious I don’t want to push him. But I won't stop looking at him and playing with a lock of his hair. 

Robbe opens one eye, smiles and puts himself in the same position as me, like a mirror.  
There's no shyness, no awe. 

Is it possible that two strangers fit together so perfectly?

The answer doesn't matter because I see him here beside me and he fills my heart with joy.  
This boy has given me the joy and serenity of being next to another human being who is not Chloe.

“You are awake"  
“Good morning"  
“How are you?"  
“I finally slept well because of you."  
“Sander, are you telling me I'm some kind of sleeper?"  
“I'm saying that being with you is good for me."  
“So your fears..."  
“It was probably just a buildup of tension."  
“I'm so happy for you..."

Robbe gets up to make breakfast and I can't stop wondering how he makes everything so beautiful.

If this is my chance to be happy, it's the best chance I could have had.  
I fall asleep again with the feeling that I really deserve my own piece of happiness.


	9. We are on a cloud

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The moment when they realise that a breakfast is about to become more domestic than they thought

This morning I decide to prepare   
Breakfast. It won't be like my mother's breakfast, but I'm sure I can cook something edible...

While I'm tinkering in the kitchen, I'll let my mother know that everything is okay but I'll be here a while longer.

"He was probably just tired, but I want to make sure it's not something to do with his health."  
“Robbe, keep me informed. I'll be here if you need me."

I go back to the room and I find him asleep: I get closer to get a better look at his perfect face.  
He really needed to rest: now the features of his face are so relaxed... I'm about to pass my fingers on his neck when Sander's cell phone starts vibrating. On the display the name Cloe lights up rhythmically.

"Sander, wake up, your sister is calling your cell phone" I wake him up instinctively kissing him on the forehead.  
"Hey... “  
“Sorry I didn't want to wake you, but Chloe's calling you and I thought it was only fair to warn you."

She picks up the phone and calls her sister back.  
I get up, give him a kiss on the forehead again and head for the kitchen...

When the phone call ends he gets ready and joins me where I'm trying to make a decent breakfast. 

"Coffee toast and chocolate... someone has to shop here."

He comes over and kisses me on the cheek. 

" I love the smell of coffee."  
“Is your sister okay?"  
All of this is so domestic... we seem like a couple of lovers.

“She's fine, I'll see her in about ten days... she has a boyfriend and wants me to meet him."

I smile at him and we start eating breakfast. 

“So, party boy, how was your night?"  
“Intense”  
“So..."  
“So I told everyone I'm gay and I've never felt lighter in my life. You were the only one missing, and even though it wasn't exactly the way I wanted to tell you... well, now I do. everyone knows... except my father..."  
“When you feel like talking about your  
Father, I'll listen to you, you know that, don't you?"  
“Yes, I know.”

He doesn't mention anything else and we drink coffee in silence. I need to figure out what he’s thinking so I start talking:  
“Sander"  
“Mmmh”  
“Do you care if I'm gay?"  
“Yes"  
“Yes?" 

I feel like I'm going to faint.  
The only person I really wanted ...I'm the only one here who felt this deep feeling and desire?

Sanders gets up out of his chair and walks up to me... He sits on top of me and grabs my face.  
Every "yes" he says is a kiss on my head, on my cheeks, on my eyes, on the tip of my nose... I wrap my arms around him as if to keep him from running away.

Then he looks at me  
“yes, I care, because I can finally do something I've wanted to do for a long time." 

His lips sound melodiously good on mine. We kiss tenderly, then more and more passionately.  
I thought it would be nice to kiss Sander but I never thought it would be so nice that I immediately became addicted to him... 

"How are you?" He asks me to catch some air...  
“I'm on a cloud and woe to those who want me to come down."

He rub his face on mine...

"Am I on your cloud too?"  
This time I take the initiative and after kissing him again and again I say:

"You're everywhere as long as we're together."


	10. Two become one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robbe understand that he finally found the right person, his person.

We spend the day between kisses and caresses, between the sofa and the bed between stories and silences.

"You know, when I talk about my father..."

Are you sure you want to talk about it?"

"Yeah really, it's not a sad story. Not really."

I rest my head on his legs and while Sander plays with my hair I start telling my father’s story.

"My parents are separated, it's true, but they're not on bad terms... my father's work is simply incompatible with a family.  
He works for the army and is moved very often to follow the various operations he is in charge of.   
I don't know much about it, I'm not an army lover and he can't say too much for security reasons."

"But can you see him once in a while?"

"Only via Skype and for a few minutes, to prevent the call being traced.  
It's weird because I can't say he's a bad father... I just find it complicated to say I have one...and now I have to find a way to talk to him about me in a few minutes when the situation would take hours."

“Robbe, I'm not the right person to tell you what to do, but I think you have to follow the feelings of the moment, without thinking too much about it. But remember he may takes time to process it and you have to take that into account."

"I've never thought in this way before."

"Do you see why we have to be together? I'm a great advice giver.”

I hit him jokingly on his shoulder before I get back to his lips.

I go home just to tell my mother that I'm staying at Sander's the next night too. 

"Is there anything else you need to tell me?"

"Mom, seriously, what power do you have? tell me, how do you do it?"

"I'm your mother, I recognize every inch of your face and even if you don't talk, it tells me a lot of things."

I smile at her and hug her

"It's going very well actually but I'll tell you more later and in a loud voice, okay?"

When I go back to the apartment, I find Sander wearing only a towel:

"I was thinking...how about a shower?"

"I think that's a very good idea."

Discussing the heat that the shower jet must have, can dampen some of the embarrassment we both feel.  
For me it's the first time, for Sander it's the beginning of something after so much time spent alone.

Kiss after kiss we begin to discover each other's bodies. 

I don't think there's anything more satisfying than caressing his body and being touched by his hands, kissing all of him, let the feel of his lips on my skin overwhelm me.

“Robbe, whatever makes you uncomfortable..."

"Sander...I trust you."

He takes me by the hand and we move into the bedroom.

Maybe I should be afraid, I should feel embarrassed, but feeling one with Sander is the thing I want the most right now. My mind thinks of nothing but him.  
I want to feel his warmth and give him mine.  
It certainly wasn't all perfect: but perfect was doing it with the person I love. 

We are lying down, our legs bound by a wonderful weave, our arms still eager to caress each other.   
Our breaths are trying to find a normal rhythm.

"What are you thinking about?" He asks me

"How lucky I am to have met you."


	11. My boyfriend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Here is my boyfriend.”  
> In less than two months Robbe’s life is changing a lot  
> Having a Boyfriend sounds so right for him now. Life is really surprising.

Time flew by: although we both wanted to stay in each other's arms for the rest of the day, we got ready to go out and get food.

"Not so much vegetables Robbe!”

I don't remember ever laughing so hard when I was shopping in a grocery store

"Someone here needs a healthier diet."  
I say give him a kiss.

“Robbe!"  
Jens was calling me?  
“Jens!" Jens is taking big steps towards us.  
“I was starting to worry, you disappeared after the party, you said you'd keep me posted."  
“Come on, it's been little more than a day!"

Jens talks to me but he won't stop looking at Sander with deep curiosity.

"Listen kid, are you gonna introduce us or are we gonna do pretend you didn't do anything?"

Sometimes Jens should learn to keep his thoughts in his head without turning them into words.

"You're impossible. Sander this is Jens my best friend, Jens this is Sander... my boyfriend."  
Wow. I have a boyfriend. I have the most beautiful, kind and perfect boyfriend of the entire world. Sounds good, so good.  
"So you're the person who made my best friend so brave and let me tell you, more human?”

Sander smiles  
“Actually it's Robbe who makes me a better person.”  
Jens gives me his usual pat on the back...  
“I feel there's real love in the air."

We continue talking for a few more minutes until Jens' mother calls him for help her. 

"See you guys, Robbe, now that the school is over, we need a rematch at Fortnite?"

"You're damn right. Call you later, bye!"  
“Sander, hope I see you soon and if you want a challenge to Fortnite too..."

Jens is chaotic, noisy and struggling not to be in the spotlight of life, but he has a huge heart and knowing that I can count on him calms me down and makes me happy. I knew they'd like each other, I knew it.

Sander approaches my ear  
“So I'm your boyfriend?"  
If Sander wants to play, I won't back down so I'll answer:  
“Well, if that's not the case and you don't mind having a boyfriend then tonight I think I'll go back to my place to sleep... I am sure my mum would be so happy to have me again only for her”

Sander laughs and touches my lips with one finger...  
“Seriously, it was nice to hear you say that."  
“Try saying that to me too"  
“Here's Robbe,my lovely boyfriend."

I'm about to explode from the accumulation of all the feelings and desires I have in this moment:

"Let's hurry up and finish buying food, I can't wait to get home."

We walk to the car, knowing what the evening's going to bring to us.  
“Robbe."  
“Sander."

After making love our bodies create always a wonderful intersection: his fingers making circles around me are something I can't do without anymore. “What will I do the next few nights without you?"  
“It will be very difficult for me too; but we can always live out the week in anticipation of the weekend."  
“Are we gonna spend the next weekend together?"  
“If you like the idea, yes. We might even go out some night if you're not too tired after work."

Sander gets on top of me, takes the my hands in his, he looks at me with that intense look that makes me literally lose control.  
“Baby, of course I like the idea.I like to plan our days together, I like the idea of  
start living my life knowing you are by my side."

I have nothing to say in return.  
I take his face, let my eyes get lost in his and together we begin to build again with kisses, caresses and whispers our private and special universe.


	12. You are my family now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robbe can’t be silent because love must have a voice.

It's been six months since Sander came into my life. Six wonderful months, a little more complicated when his health manifested itself. 

Six months in which we shared our love with our friends, where we held hands during the bad times.

Months in which I learned to know and love more and more the boy who one day, looking out the window to contemplate the dawn, stole my heart forever.

Sander knew how to live with my insecurities, he stayed close to me when I told my father that I had a boyfriend.

He comforted me when my father didn't say anything and closed the door on me.

He called and rejoiced with me when a few days later my dad called me back and we talked for more than 5 minutes and my heart was bursting with joy.

I met Sander's sister shortly after the beginning of our story: a beautiful girl outside and inside, a sensitive girl in love with her brother (and how can I blame her?).

We spent beautiful weekends lost in each other, hugging,watching TV or chatting in the kitchen while preparing dinner.

Now, after six incredible months, the most important moment has arrived: tonight I will see Sander's parents. I am not nervous about the meeting itself, but about the way he is living it. We meet in a restaurant a few kilometers from home: a quiet place, with large windows that allow the view of the city.

At first everything seems to go in the classic way: smiling, easy questions... they seem very chill about our relationship. 

Sander and Cloe leave the table to look for the toilet and suddenly everything changes: 

"Oh Robbe thanks"

"For what?" I naively ask 

"To take care of our son, we know he is not an easy guy for his problems and then you know you're studying at university... at least You have a few moments of freedom from his needs."

It took me a few minutes to process the words and the way these people were talking about the person I loved.

Sander and Chloe come back and I take a deep breath before I speak 

"You see, I'm in love with your son, with all my heart. The illness he has, because it is a disease and not a whim of a spoiled man, does not change the total vision I have of him."

I feel like I'm starting to shake, but I have to stay calm:

“Sander is a wonderful person, with a big heart, many talents, he has healthy passions... Sander works and studies, he loves to take walks, he loves the early hours of the morning and he has learned to listen to his body: he doesn't reach the limit before starting the treatments and if the disease suddenly presents itself, he calls me and together we spend a couple of days waiting for it to pass. It doesn't happen often. One time in six months and it's not something impossible to handle."

"But..."

I won't let her talk. She won't hurt my Sander again.

"But if and when it happens that he won't want me next to him, I'll stand by and wait. I'll stand by him at a distance and that will be enough to fight the dark moment he's going through."

One more breath. 

"If you only knew how much love he's given me these six months. If you Know how he managed to complete my existence with his positivity and commitment, because together we have created a beautiful life, which no embarrassing question can ruin. 

He worked hard to find his own corner of happiness. Now together, we're making that corner bigger. Day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute."

I watch Sander. He's crying quietly and smiling at the same tune; I take his hand and kiss it gently.

And for the first time, in front of these two insensitive adults, I say to him:

"I love you, Sander Driesen. I love you more than anything else."

"Robbe... I love you so much. You're my missing part, my real medicine, my safe haven..."

And after that we are holding on tight.

Chloe comes over and kisses us on our heads spreading her arms and join in our embrace. 

We greet her parents, still shaken by my words.

"I believe that one day not far away someone will come back into your life baby"

"Ireally hope so, but Robbe, you are my family now."


	13. A new dawn, a new day, a new life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What is the best surprise for a  
> Love declaration?

S POV

"Sander, we've been together for so little and yet it's like we've been together forever." 

"Maybe it's because we didn't hide anything from each other right away... ...or maybe it's because I picked the best-looking man around and I'll do everything I can to keep him."

We were lying on the couch after making love; I watched my boyfriend fall asleep on me and felt that the rhythm of our breathing had become one.  
That's when I realized.   
I realized that there was only one piece missing to merge us into each other.

I asked his mother for help. She was my sweet partner in crime from the start...   
Then it was Jens' turn: our number one fan was supposed to be part of the plan.  
I had studied everything down to the smallest detail. Now all I had to do was wait.

********************************  
R POV

When I started university I decided that it would be a good idea to find a job to help my mother, but also Sander with the home organization.  
I was lucky enough to find a job as part of my studies and this would also make it easier for me with the obligatory internship hours.  
In the evening, when the tiredness was felt more than other days, it was a great comfort to know that I could count on the embrace and warmth of my boyfriend.   
His warm hands and the sound of his voice were able to rinse away the accumulated tension and tiredness.

One Friday night my mother asked me to stay with her.

"It's been a long time since we spent an evening together watching a movie... I'm sure Sander will understand."

She was right. My mom needed to blow off some steam this week, too. We'll sit on the couch and pick a movie that my mom loves.   
The next morning I'm having breakfast and someone rings at the door: it's Jens, with a giant smile.  
He comes over and says: "my boy, tonight I'm taking you to a wonderful place".

"Jens but..."

"So: We leave around midnight. I found an abandoned place to play paintball and make some graffiti, but we can't go there during the day it might be crowded."

"But...”

"Don't worry, I'll have you back to your prince before he notices you're gone, okay?"

"Okay..."

I couldn't say no to Jens either. He was always there for me... 

“Sander darling tonight Jens..."

"He texted me too: I'll miss you, baby, but I think it'll be fun to spend some time with your best friend."

He wasn't convincing me, I wanted to stay with him tonight, we'd already lost the night before...

“No please, don't make that face. I'll tell you what: we'll make up for these two lost nights next week and I'll make something special just for the two of us."

"we could start the preparations now."

I close the door of the room with one foot, while with my hands I take care of the perfect body in my arms.   
I cannot be here tonight, but I have every intention of not missing a second of the time we have left.

******************* 

S POV 

After Jens takes away Robbe, I'll make sure I have everything's in the car... 

"I have to go or I'll be late."

"Go slowly, Sander, you'll see, everything will be fine."

I hope Robbe's mother is right.

******************** 

"Jens where is the place? “ 

"You see that low building lit by the lighthouse? That one. Noor and I discovered it thanks to the group of writers he's in contact with: they say that being away from the city in the colder seasons it's not used, so here's the idea."

“Of course you two together are almost dangerous."

"You can say it, boy, and you don't know how much we love it!"

Sander was right, I had missed spending time alone with my best friend.  
We get to the place and suddenly Jens stops.

"Boy, our nighttime adventure ends here."  
I'm definitely confused, but then...

*********************  
S POV

Robbe's face confused in the semi-darkness is still if it were possible more beautiful  
I'll give Jens a hug and we'll be alone.

"But..."

"I wanted to surprise you and asked for help here and there."

"Now I know why those two were so strange."

"Come"

I take him by the hand and show him a huge mural with his face. 

"Noor and the crew helped me a lot in the last few weeks to make it, but the original design is mine, I just came to make sure everything was going well."

Robbe was speechless, but I could hear from his handshake that he was very excited.

"Do You like it?”

"If I like it? It's wonderful."

"You know, we're a few meter from the shore"

"Midnight bath? Or rather, 4:00 a.m. bath?"

“I have something better in store for us."

I'm taking him to a nearby cove small but with smooth, thin sand.   
I had prepared a large, warm blanket and basket with breakfast and a thermos of hot coffee. 

"I wanted to watch the sunrise with you."

**********************

R POV

I was speechless. How can I deserve all of this?   
I keep clutching his shirt... everything's perfect.   
We sit, wrap ourselves in a blanket and drink coffee Waiting for the dawn amaze us listening to the sound of the sea. 

"Sander I... I don't know what to say... Thank you, it's all beautiful."

Sander looks at me, his face is tense: I understand that he is going to tell me something that touches him a lot

“Robbe, my love, I wanted to organize all this for one reason: being with you has totally changed my view of the world.  
Before everything was black and white but with you next tome it became a multicolored kaleidoscope.  
But I can't wait any longer.  
I know we're too young for the rest of the world, and too young is our story too, but... “

He takes a deep breath 

“The point is, I want to watch the sunrise rise from the same perspective as you everyday as long as you want, so I'm asking you, would you come live with me?"

I sit on him with my back to the sea.

“Sander, there isn't a day since I've known you that I haven't wanted to share my life with you. I'm so proud of our love... of course I want to live with you and watch the sunrise and life go on from the same perspective... I love you so much Sander Driesen."

“I love you more Robbe IJzermans."

After a kiss that took our breath away, we finally greet the rising dawn, the dawn of a new day, the beginning of a new life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your kind words, it helps me a lot believe me!   
> It was fun, exciting and who knows,maybe I’ll start a new different story for  
> these two beauties?  
> Big hugs and stay safe!!!


End file.
